literature

HBB Severus : Filler

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Literature Text

K-Fluff : Today we have a special treat. Our guest today is none other than the Slytherin Head of House, Potions master, and [cough]undercoverspy[cough], Severus Snape!

Snape : [Swirls cloak and sits down]

K-Fluff : Nicely done, ol' chap. Now, you've agreed to give your answers to some ideas as to how J.K. Rowling has portrayed you in the seventh book, yes?

Snape : The headmaster's making me.

K-Fluff : (Hey Kate-sters, doesn't that remind you of teacher three's line? xD) Hold on a tick, isn't Albus dead?

Snape : Of course he is.

K-Fluff : Then how can he be making you-

Snape : You're getting off topic, Muggle.

K-Fluff : Hey, no need to get hurtful here. I might not have magic, but I can easily secure an extra nuke from Bush and clear out the entire eastern hemisphere, got it? >.>

Snape : ...Right. The questions then? [Cloak shift]

K-Fluff : Yes, of course. Our first one... [Digs randomly in a pile of letters] Ah, here we go... "Me and my friends have decided that you're a vampire, because you're evil and have pale skin."

Snape : What horrible grammar.

K-Fluff : I agree, but you've still got to combat that idea.

Snape : I don't drink blood, and, even though Peeves is sure I do, I do NOT own any rubber fangs, thank you very much.

K-Fluff : Then...

Snapey-poo : [Flashes teeth]

K-Fluff : [Flips letter over shoulder] No elongated canines. Definitely not vampire. Next.... [Shuffle and pick] "There has been word that you didn't actually kill Dumbledore. What really happened then?"

Snapey-poo : Next question.

K-Fluff : ...Meh, alright. [Shuffle McShuffleton] "The whole reason you don't like Harry is because you used to shag James until he said that he was dumping you for Lily the night he stopped you from getting killed by Remus in werewolf form."

Snapey-poo : Lemme see that- [Grabs letter]

K-Fluff : That's actually a good question. It would explain a lot. [Laughs under breath]

Snapey-poo : [Sets letter aflame with wand] Next.

K-Fluff : [Shuffle...shuffle...shuffffffffffle] That's actually about all, really...Oh! Here's one! "Due to your reaction when Harry called you a coward, there has been speculation amongst the Severus Isn't Evil Club members. It is believed that sometime in your past you were called a coward, and forced into working for Voldemort. Due to this incidence, Dumbledore was able to have you cleared of all charges, and therefore proves you are not evil.

Snapey-poo : Well, I suppose that's good in theory- WHOAH! Hold on one second!

K-Fluff : What?

Snapey-poo : Since when am I being referred to as 'Snapey-poo' ?!?

K-Fluff : What are you talking about? <.<     >.>

Snape : Just up there! I saw it, just a couple lines ago!

K-Fluff : It's all in your head, Sev. Take it easy.

Snape : [Fumes]

K-Fluff : [Holds out marshmallow on stick near him] Right, I think that's all the questions we're doing for now. Come back in a half hour, and I'm bound to have about sixty s'mores ready. Until next time, folks!
Okay, so I realized at about 10 PM tonight that I have no update for my HBB Severus story... 0.0

Alright, no paniking...breathe....breathe.....>.<

Anyways, I decided to put in this as a filler per se, until another month has passed and I actually have something. Boo ya! xD

So I was combing through a whole bunch of what I like to call 'Severus theories', and some of them really made me laugh, especially when I thought what good ol' Sev might think of this...and this spawned from it. Yes, SPAWNED.

AMAZING. xD
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sherania's avatar
Awww poor sevvy-poo!

Actually it can be said that he isn't a vampire because he was out in the sun to refery (sorry can't spell it) a quiddich match in the first book. That would be kind of hard to do if he was a vampy!